Grandma Ciria

July 19th will be three years since my grandma Ciria passed way.

One of the most amazing things about Love is.. it is your Love. You Love someone the way you want or need to. You Love them for what you know and Love about them, from your experience's with them. This is why I Love and miss her.

My time with Ciria was scattered through many years, moments we had together or with my girls we both treasured. I grew up far from her and had only met she and my grandfather a few times as a young adult, but moved closer in my 20's. My grandfather had already passed way and she was now older and sick with diabetes and eventually breast cancer.

I can remember driving up to the house with the anticipation of seeing her, wondering what cafeteria restaurant she would want to go to for lunch. My grandma was a "collector" of things.. her small home was filled with all her treasures, things that mattered to her in some way for some reason. When I asked her about her possessions and the need to collect them she said " I had a shop, so that is why I have all these things." She loved to walk the local Goodwill everyday to look and buy the discarded items she just knew she needed.

I know very little about her life growing up or her married life to my grandfather, she was a woman with secrets just like the rest of us. I like to imagine her young, smiling and talking about how she met my grandfather in her mothers house. Apparently the proper way to meet your future husband.

Even without all the stories, she taught me things about Life that I think about often and I know she would have been glad someone was listening. She was a woman of few words and it was often what she didn't say that I heard most. Those unseen things that pass between souls really listening.

Ciria ended up in a hospice and it is was there through her pain.. I realized I needed to start to heal mine.

I had been fortunate enough to have seen her for a few days and I know she knew I was there, holding her hand and moistening her lips with a sponge. It was hard for me not to cry every time I got close to her, she was so frail.

My dad and I were taking a outside break from her room while her brother was watching over her, my dad talked of things he wanted me to know... his own stories and lessons. Texas in the July is unbearable so we were soon back in the air conditioned hallways of the hospice. I will never forget the next few minutes .. time standing still as I read the expressions of those around her room. It seems a minute earlier grandma had taken her last breathe and was now at rest.

This is not a day to morn my loss for her but remind myself of her...

The bottom line is today I will smile, laugh and love more because of her.. thank you Grandma Ciria