Halloween 2017

It has been years since started this blog and there are numerous reasons I left it behind in the vast web landscape. But for some reason today All Hallows Eve my fearlessness led me back, it led me back to me, it led me back to remember and it led me back to the ceremony of spirits inside me.

In the time that has passed much has happened including 2 degrees in Social Work, 2 girls thriving, the loss of one hound and finding the love of another, the love and loss of what I thought it all was about and the intentional way I try to live everyday in Fearlessness. 

Fear is heart stopping, it is breath taking, it is the quite breathe while we try and be as still as possible to listen to the coming threat. 

Fearlessness is not perfection, fear creeps up in me, fear hangs heavy thoughts above my head, fear pushes tears from my eyes, fear leads me to hold my breathe and wait to exhale.

In the last few weeks life's uncertainly has put my Fearlessness to the test in varies ways.. 

I am about to turn 48, my baby will go off to college, my life will resemble something it has not been in a long time.. just mine. For years my plans have been to run not walk back to my tribe in Oregon but lately my eyes have been opened to the idea of more possibilities. Possibilities to explore somewhere new, ride the waves of not just the ocean but corn fields or smell the pines of any state I choose. 

It is a privilege to have options, to be able to open my mind and heart to new choices. I was reminded recently by a long time friend that looking forward hurts your neck far less then looking back.. looking back at mistakes, at what if's, at those things and people that mattered until they didn't or chose to be their own fearless and not include me. 

I step in to the scariest night of the year with my own ghosts, my own trepidation and continually having to remind myself that I am the master of my own story. That I can live each day in fearlessness alongside healthy fear as long as I remember to breathe, cry when I need to and exhale deeply with each step forward. 

Michelle-Dawne