Oh Brother where art thou

 I awoke this morning with thoughts of my fun Saturday afternoon filled with family, food, cocktails and music to lift our souls. 

I found myself stopping in front of the mirror and frozen.. for a second I could see him in me. Tears, tears have been on my cheeks ever since. 

If he was here, i would have called him to tell him everything. Everything bad, everything good everything only he could understand. Me. 

It is 14 days until the first birthday he will miss here, Miss here with his bride, daughter, nieces and me.

He is missed. To hear him say "Hello, my sista" just one more time, to tell him how I love him, to make sure he knew that he was everything to me. 

Today I will be fine, because I know he is still with me.

Patrick Thomas October 27, 1966-February 8, 2023

Below is my speech from his funeral, rest in peace my brotha. 

Good afternoon, everyone I am Michelle. Patrick’s little sister. 

 

I am only able to stand her today by harnessing the strength of my daughters, his daughter Sierra, and my brother they have given me as he would say the strength to “rub dirt in it” and make him proud. 

 

 If I haven’t had the pleasure to meet you yet I can’t wait to introduce myself because if you are here my brother impacted, you in some way. 

 

There were so many things about Patrick that made him special

 

As a friend, he was always there, he answered your call, if he couldn’t he called you back, he tried his best, he was a SHIT texter, but he couldn’t be perfect. He was a no-frills guy that played podcasts, watched TikTok and conspiracy videos instead of texting you back. 

 

Patrick was an amazing son, father, and bonus dad. He poured his whole heart and soul into his family. Being a father made him proud as a peacock. 

 

Patrick loved his wife. Patrick loved hard. I’ll never forget the day he told me “He had a Lady friend” (Babz) The grin on his face could be seen over the phone. 

He was an undercover romantic that always said “I love you” before he hung up the phone. He called Babz his Soul Mate. 

 

Patrick was passionate about his work, his work life and work family. He loved all things truck life not “thug” life. He knew more about safety, trucks, and maps then anyone anywhere. He spent his day helping drivers and thrived in the field. He spent 8 years in college to fulfill his dream. 

 

Patrick loved the place we grew up (Lincoln City, Oregon) it was there he learned the art of wood spitting, clamming, obnoxious speaker installs in small stupid cars and trying to look cool in a small tourist town when you’re literally the only semi cute person. 

 

Did you know Patrick could sing? 

He sung in the Jr. High talent show … Mandy by Barry Manilow 

And you better believe every time it came on the radio, I called him 

Maybe that’s when he didn’t answer? 

 

Did you know Patrick was a huge fan of The Lord of the Rings? 

This fact was reflected in his pets. As kids me has dog’s named Sam and Frodo, as an adult he had a cat named Gandolf that I swear lived as long as the darn wizard. 

 

He loved all his pets since then that included Lou the Bassett Hound, Sammie the Cat, Smoking Carl the Cat, Ellie the Shepard, Sassy the Chihuahua, Licorice the Cat. He was apparently also an undercover CAT Dude WHO KNEW. 

 

 

 

Patrick was quite. But was he… 

He was a really good listener. 

He was an observer. 

He was smart like that, he grew into his power into his sweet silence 

 

Over the last few week friends going back to our childhood have reached out to offer condolences, because they remember his kindness, his take no shit conversations and most of all his stubbornness. 

 

There were so many things about Patrick that made him special

 

But to me is he was my brother, my first best friend, he made me an aunt, he was my girls uncle, my hero and I am profoundly sad he is not here with us anymore. 

We started every phone call with “hello My Brotha, Hello My Sista”.. 

 

I could call him from anywhere lost... because I get lost constantly “it’s a thing” and my brother could navigate me over the phone within seconds from anywhere. He had maps and roads in his head, he just knew, and he never judged my lack of direction. 

 

I had a professor tell me once “If it is Unimaginable, it can seem unmanageable.” 

 

I didn’t understand it until now. 

I never imagined losing him because how would I manage it. 

 

My brother and I went to on to college at the same time in our 40’s, he in to Organizational Management/safety and me in Social Work specializing in Grief/Loss and Death/Dying Ironic right..

 

Patrick is here... I know he is, looking out for me still. 

It is manageable thru him. Patrick will be missed.

 

If you are here. He meant something to you too. Remember him for his gifts his impact, his perfect silence, his smile... it was the best.