lalala they say its your Birthday...

On the eve of my 42nd birthday there is once again a change in the wind around me...

I did not grow up celebrating my birthday so when I became an "adult" I decided to Celebrate.. yes with a Capital C!
Over the years there have been some interesting evening those I remember and others I do not. This year so far I have celebrated with new and old friends, found out my cool aunt Becky has passed away, put my heart on the line for true Love and the week isn't over yet.

Tonight I choose to reflect on two birthdays I really do remember, my 23rd and my 30th.

I was young, 23 and dating a man named Jorge from Texas. We had met like most successful couples "in a bar" ... Jorge charming and clearly in love with this silly girl from Oregon swept me off my feet. Yada yada yada it is a year later on my Birthday.. I'm at work and feel really sick, so sick my coworker takes me to the emergency room thinking I have appendicitis. As I lay on in the emergency room fearful my sweet emergency room doctor comes in and says " well your going to live and have a baby." Yes he said BABY!
After the shock wore off I made my way to a pay phone, this was before everyone had cell phones. I call Jorge who traveled for his job.. I do not remember the exact words that came out of my mouth but his were what anyone in my position would want to hear.. Happiness. Lauren was born in July after 26 hours of natural labor and has been from that day a most amazing gift. She is a young woman now and on the verge of her own amazing life, and I know it will be amazing because she is Lauren Magana.

When I was in my late 20's and Lauren was getting bigger I thought about having another child so she would never be alone. I have my brother and some days I do not know what I would do without him, so i wanted Lauren to have that kind of love.
This pregnancy took a little longer to happen.. but who is going to complain about trying to achieve that! I was at one of my last doctor appointments before my due date in late November and a big as a house. My sweet doctor comes in and says 'well we will see you on November 16th at 6am." I say "what for. that's my birthday?!" "to have your baby" he says..
A few weeks later on my 30th birthday I was in the hospital sucking on ice chips and cussing out my husband because this was clearly a mans fault. This time I was able to ease some of the pain with medication, none the less all the pain goes away when you see your baby girl. Marissa came into our lives just into the next day of November and will forever be the best birthday present I have received. She is now on the edge of being a teenager, i am so proud of her for so many reason. For she is Marissa Magana my baby always and our bright star.

My birthday is tomorrow and I do know I will not get everything I hoped for at this point in my life..

But the bottom line is The gifts that keep on giving are the ones that matter most to us.